Becoming, always becoming, a MORE Equitable Educator: Reflections on my learning

Image of a woman with a handbag on a purple background.
 Text reads: MIT Teaching Systems lab Becoming a more equitable educator.

ABOUT THE COURSE AND MY ROLE

In my role as a community teaching assistant for the MIT Teaching Systems Lab course Becoming a More Equitable Educator, I have learned a lot, interacted with a great variety of educators, and written more than I could have ever imagined.

However, my learning, both from being a student in this course and from participating as a teaching assistant, has been wide ranging and also very action oriented. This is the place for me to talk about what I've done with some of that learning.

USING COMMUNITY ASSETS

image of a two people chatting on a computer and table. 
Text reads: Using community assets. Who are the experts in my community? 
What assets do I have?

During the course, educators are asked to develop a map of community assets. I did not realize that this asset map would serve as a foundation for a great deal of the work that I would do for this past year. I found allies and tapped into an amazing community of educators who had a lot to share about their own work in becoming more equitable.

I felt empowered- because of a new job and a strong sense of wanting to do something- to bring some educators together and create some trainings and resources to address equity in my teaching community. 

Here are some of those trainings and discussions:

Connecting with Students of Color with John Bracey

Understanding and Using Inclusive Language with Abelardo Almazán-Vázquez

Staying true to yourself (with Elicia Cárdenas)

This is equity related, just not directly. It is about making principled choices in teaching, albeit in a very specific context of comprehension based communicative language teaching. The more I explore this topic, the more I am sure that this is about equity.

A conversation on equity and engagement: what does it look like in 2020
with Bob Patrick, Meredith White, John Bracey, Dahiana Castro, and Elicia Cárdenas

Becoming an anti-racist educator: where to begin? by Elicia Cárdenas

EXAMINING OUR STATUS QUO

image: stack of books. Text reads: examining our status quo. 
What are commonly accepted practices that no longer fit with my goals of becoming more equitable? 

There are a lot of commonly accepted practices in world language classes, especially around assessment, that I felt like I needed to really dig into and ask if they were practices that were in line with my goals of becoming more equitable. It turns out that I had a lot to say about engagement, grading accuracy, participation, and more. I *still* have more to say, so when I write more, I will add it.

Title: Grammar teacher Goal: Language Acquisition

Addresses equity in our choice of pedagogy 

Things to Avoid: Grading Accuracy, Participation, and Engagement/Effort

The A Word: (Accountability)   Part 1 and Part 2: Reframing Accountability in a comprehension based classroom

UNDERSTANDING THE ROLE OF SELF CARE IN EQUITY WORK

image of a woman with a large heart. Text reads: Understanding the role of self care. 
How does taking care of myself help me be more equitable? 

This idea has been slowly coalescing and is still in its infancy. It started with a truly transformative experience at the People of Color Conference in a session about the trauma of equity work. I realized that I was carrying around a great deal of trauma from my experiences in working as part of an Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion team. Like- A LOT. While that workshop was specifically focused on healing from trauma, it made me start to wonder:

How can taking care of myself and putting myself first help me be a more equitable educator? Here's what I came up with:

I can be my best self, more often.

If I am well rested and not stressed, I am less likely to react, and more likely to either notice a situation that is going off the rails before it happens or respond in a way that is kind and patient. Hangry me just snaps, gets annoyed, and kicks kids out or shamed them (we have all done it, and I am not proud of it). 

When I show up with my best self, I am much more likely to have an equity mindset. I am more likely to look at any student in any given moment with an asset based and context centered mindset.  

I can focus on what is important, more often. 

If I am taking care of myself and not spending every extra minute doing things that I hate (e.g. grading for the sake of grading, marking errors, etc.), I might also be taking more time to plan better lessons, to create time in my lessons to check in with students, creating or finding better resources, or (gasp) even connecting with other teachers to support my practice. 

This has played out for me in some really significant ways: by being more intentional about how I spend my contract hours, by setting clear boundaries with myself and with others (and still keeping my job!), and being intentional about how I spend my time at school, I found that I had a lot more energy to plan better lessons and find amazing resources, with which to plan better lessons. Prioritizing a manageable work-week was a game changer. Also, it made me sleep better, spend more time doing the things I love, which led to less stress and me being my best self.

I have more energy and resiliency.

I have more energy and resiliency to have hard conversations, to take risks as an educator, and to practice being aware (instead of avoidant).  

I started to explore this idea in a handful of earlier blog posts (What Matters Most and Simplify) but the difference between what I wrote then and what I am thinking now is that self care is not just a nice thing to do, it is vital to be able to engage in the day-to-day work of becoming a more equitable educator. 

Image: people dancing with joy. Text reads: I can be my best self, more often. I
 can focus on what is important, more often. I have more energy and resiliency.

CONCLUSION

What a funny thing to write! There is no end. It's not like I have magically reached "equitable". It is a life-long process. I am constantly learning and un-learning. I am exploring the intersection of anti-blackness, fatphobia, and the role of white supremacy in eating disorders and the thin ideal. I am examining my own intersectional identities as a white skinned chicana, as my family digs out evidence of our very near indigenous roots, and looking at my role as a descendent of colonizers and of those who were colonized.  I am grappling with social media activism (and its harm) and growing my own capacity to be a leader. These are not easy things. 

So, no conclusion, sorry! 

(The course from MIT Teaching Systems Lab ends on August 26, 2021.)

Write & Discuss: Sometimes I win, sometimes I belly flop

I see a lot of discussion about a technique known as Write and Discuss, and I have to be honest here. I love the idea of it, but it pretty much always feels weird, boring, and sometimes downright painful when I do it in my classes.

So I have to ask myself: is that my perception?  I also know that going as slowly as I need to for comprehension and limiting my vocabulary for novices is also weird, boring, and sometimes downright painful. For me.  But is it for my kids? Should I do it anyway? Am I conflating entertainment with practices that support acquisition?  Can I do a better job at using it as a tool? (Well, duh, of course I can!)    

Here are a few thoughts about all of this.

1) Just because it is boring for me doesn't mean that it's not incredibly valuable and perhaps not boring for my learners.  (Going slowly and sheltering vocab is a great example. If you don't believe me, try taking a class in a language you don't know.  Learn to LOVE going slow.)   I'm not the one who needs to be engaged, right?  It's all about the learners (within reason, of course).  

2) If I think it is boring, and my students' body language seems to agree, maybe I can change it up.  Do it better.  

3) I know from my own experiences as a teacher and learner that it is an immensely powerful tool and can support acquisition in all kinds of ways.  When I first started playing around with it a couple of years ago, the difference in student writing was almost immediate- students were using a LOT more 1st person forms of verbs and using them much more accurately.  I was immensely pleased- especially because it was the only real change I made during that time of the year.   

OK, so, here goes my reflection on trying use it, do it better, and examining what did and didn't work.

In Spanish 1B, 8th grade, we are doing a ClipChat (aka MovieTalk) that is included in SOMOS 1, Unit 10.  It is a very, very silly video and nothing terribly exciting happens.  It is also in Spanish and uses a lot of unfamiliar and hard to understand language, so even though I keep the volume on, I rephrase pretty much every utterance, plus add descriptions and narration as we are watching it.  I *will* give the kids an embedded reading of this when we are done.  

After watching a few moments of it the day before, I decided to watch it again from the beginning on Wednesday's class, but pause to do a Write and Discuss to summarize what we had already seen.  

Here is where I got stuck: the physical layout of my classroom is such that I had the movie projected on my smartboard, and then did the write and discuss on a board off to the side.   I didn't think that I could manage switching between screens of the movie and a google doc, nor would I be able to pause the movie so we could describe (and write and discuss) what was on the screen.  

I did the (fairly) typical thing where I asked leading questions and students helped guide me to a sentence, then I added in more academic language (because that is one use of Write and Discuss, in my opinion).  This is what one class came up with:  

El cocinero está en el restaurante. Henry está en el restaurante porque tiene hambre. George está feliz y ríe cuando ve a Henry.  Henry quiere comer p. f. [patatas fritas] pero George no quiere que Henry coma p. f. porque George no tiene patatas.  Henry va a encontrar patatas.  Va a la tienda, pero Gabriela ya se acaba de patatas.  Ella recomienda que Henry vaya al mercado.  

The cook is in the restaurant. Henry is in the restaurant because he is hungry. George is happy and laughs when he sees Henry.  Henry wants to eat french fries, but George does not want that Henry eats french fries because George does not have potatoes.  Henry goes to find potatoes.  He goes to a shop, but Gabriela just ran out of potatoes. She recommends that he goes to the market.  

OK, so, that was pretty great. We re-watched a bit of the video, then added a sentence and discussed it, and the grammar focused kid asked a grammar question which I answered in 10 seconds or less, and all told, I feel like it was good input.

But oh, their body language, even with brain breaks, was devastating to me. They were lolling and wiggly and all the things that normally they are not.  So...success?   

I then did exactly the same thing with the next class- who are, as a group, a little quicker at everything, so we wrote almost twice as much in the same amount of time, and again...lolling and wiggles.  

Next up was my Spanish 2 honors class.  We have been working in SOMOS 1, unit 15, La Guerra Sucia, and I asked the open ended question: "What do you know about the Madres de la plaza de Mayo?" (In Spanish.) 

This time, I wrote directly on the smartboard (with whiteboard markers- they wipe off like magic!), and didn't have anything else projected.  

We co-created this text and talked about it for about 15 minutes, up until I had some students get up and act out something that I was describing (a kidnapping that we were going to read about in a few minutes) so they could visualize it before reading about it.  

Here is that text:  

Las madres es un grupo de mujeres quien no pueden encontrar a sus hijos.  El gobierno les dice que no puede ayudarles, pero las madres piensen que no es la verdad. El dictador de Argentina en 1976 no quería el socialismo. Los desapariciones ocurrieron durante esa época.  Los hijos- los desaparecidos-participaron en actividades socialistas.  Hoy en día, Las Madres protestan (marchan para conmemorar) en Buenos Aires. Llevan pañuelos que representan la inocencia de sus hijos.

The Mothers is a group of women that can not find their kids.  The government tells them that it can't help them, but the mothers think that is not the truth.  The dictator of Argentina in 1976 didn't want socialism.  The disappearances occurred during this time period.  The kids- the disappeared- participated in socialist activities.  Nowadays, the mothers protest (march to commemorate) en Buenos Aires, Argentina.  They wear handkerchiefs that represent the innocence of their children.

For the other classes, I felt like I was doing the heavy lifting. For this class, they we just telling me what to write, and I was adding some tweaks- like instead of "white scarf" I used "handkerchief".  We also had a rousing debate whether the government tells them or told  them, and the decided that since it was still happening, it should be present tense.  (There is some higher order thinking.)  

They were 100% engaged- all of them- and they were arguing about whether or not they should say that all the disappeared students were involved in socialist activities, but decided to let it lie.  (They asked later if we could change that as they learned new info, by the way.)  

So, what were the differences?  1) I was in front of them, not to the side. 2) They were super interested in this topic.  3) They had a lot more language and felt confident about using it.  

Hmmm....what can I learn from that? 

Finally, in my last class, 7th grade Honors Spanish 1, I decided to do a spontaneous Write and Discuss to summarize their answers to the question "Is it a good idea to talk about your personal problems on the internet?"  (This is a starter question from SOMOS 1, Unit 5.)

Based on what had worked in the last class, I decided to write on the smartboard at the center of the room.  I also kept it super short- bullet points rather than a connected paragraph.  

Here were our positives and negatives:  


+ Puedes ser anónimo.  Si usas Snapchat, los mensajes desaparecen (pero Snap. los conservan.)  Puedes conectar con muchas personas y recibir ayuda.

+ You can be anonymous.  If you use Snapchat, the messages disappear, but Snap keeps them.  You can connect with a lot of people and get help.

-Es posible que otra persona descubra tus palabras.  Son tus problemas personales, no son los problemas de todo el mundo. Personas antipáticas pueden usar tus palabras en contra de tí.

-It's possible that the other person discovers your words.  They are your personal problems, not the problems of the whole world.  Mean people can use your words against you.  

It went pretty well.  I think that keeping it short and bulletpointed actually worked very well for this class.  They struggled some with expressing what they wanted to say but we practiced some circumlocution skills and I helped them come up with the right words.

So, overall, I think that I want to do more Write and Discuss, and that I need to keep them focused on the central point in the room, and that if I can type them, it is probably better.  

Some other points made by my fantastic Professional Learning Community members (Bess Hayles and Andrea Schweitzer) when we were talking about Write and Discuss:

• It is a great time to use written academic language that doesn't necessarily fall out of our teacher mouths during discussions.
• It is especially great to use if the students are not going to see a text of the event (video clip picture talk, discussion, etc.) later so that they get some reading in.
• Andrea Schweitzer pointed out that for her, when her instructor does it in Chinese at the end of class, she feels like her brain craves the part where all the talk comes together in a reading (this is totally my interpretation of her comment).  
• Keeping it short- 5 minutes- seems to be ideal.
• Sometimes kids also copy it, but it seems for most of us, we don't have the kids copy it. (Although I totally admit to using this as a bail out move a couple of times this fall with my Plan B class: "You guys can't handle anything else, so now we are copying off the board.")  

So there it is! Have a great week! Guess what I will be working on?  That's right! Write and Discuss!  

Two toxic moments in staff meetings and what we can learn about being truly inclusive

This is a post that I want to write because these incidents happened.  There are a lot of other incidents that don't necessarily rise to the top in the pile of indignities, assumptions,  and examples of ignorance that are part of the life of being a bi-racial Latinx woman who is white passing and who is not afraid to speak up.  Name spelling and pronunciation, anyone?  (And yes, I acknowledge the great privilege I carry with my light colored skin and hair color.)

These things happen, and I think we can learn from them. So, stick with me.  This is not about comprehensible input.  It is about being better teachers.  And hopefully better humans.  

Anyway, let me give some background.

If you have read my blog for a while, you maybe know that one great passion of mine is inclusion, with the related passions of diversity, social justice, anti-bias, and dismantling the system of oppression and racism and bias that we live with every day.   

One key idea for me in being inclusive is that each member of my classroom (and hopefully community) feels safe and seen for who they are and what they need. They feel safe to say no if they are uncomfortable, or to ask a question if they don't get it.  They feel safe talking, or not talking.  

One of the greatest compliments that I have ever been given was in feedback about a presentation I did this summer.  I am putting it out here because it makes me feel great (because I read this blog too!) and because this idea of safety goes hand in hand with consent.  I am grateful that what I try to do was seen.  

[Elicia] was so open and engaging that she made each of us in the over-crowded room feel welcome. She modeled many important social-emotional practices: tiny physical "brain breaks" to reset our tired minds, differentiating by offering different options and encouraging us to make the activities we liked our own, responding to all suggestions and comments with "yes and", and above all, modeling asking consent for every little thing - "do you mind if I use your picture?" "may I use you as an example?" 

So this work is not just part of my teaching practice, it is who I am and what I bring to the classroom.  I believe in it and it's important to me.     

Fast forward to some incidents in staff meetings.  I want to be clear that I don't have issue with the activities I am describing.  I have concerns with the responses made by my peers, and I want to bring to light some of the embedded assumptions that are made when choosing these activities.   And I want to highlight what a good response to these kinds of incidents looks like. 

After these incidents, I sat down with my administrator and shared my concerns and we made a good plan to address them.  I am really thankful that I have a administrator who makes time and takes time to hear me, and takes these concerns very seriously.  

#1: In a getting-to-know you activity, there is a soccer ball being with questions written on it being tossed around. When you catch it, you answer the question that your right thumb lands on.  This game was being modeled as one that could be played in class or in our advisory groups, with kids.  Some questions were about favorite things, like breakfast cereals, and others were things like "what makes you sad?". 

Let's digest that for a minute.  First, what are the assumptions there?  

• Everyone in the community knows about breakfast cereals.  
• Everyone gets to eat breakfast.
• Everyone is feeling comfortable with getting a ball tossed at them.
• Everyone has the physical ability to catch the soccer ball. 
• Everyone feels comfortable talking about what makes them sad.  (Because you know what makes me sad?  Surviving this.  Is that really what people want to hear?  Trust me, the answer is usually no.) 

Being me, I asked the person running the game what happens if a student doesn't want to answer that question. (Because if I don't speak up, who will?)  Before an answer could be given, someone snickered and made a very belittling comment about what a stupid question that was, that they (the students) could answer the questions.  

Wait- WHAT?  Do we not want all students to feel safe?  Do we not acknowledge that students come from different backgrounds?  

The game leader (our very thoughtful admin) quickly responded "oh sure, great question- have them answer one near their thumb" and moved on.   

So, on one hand, I feel like the admin heard the question, acknowledged its value, and answered it.  I felt seen and heard.  But on the other hand, not only was my question belittled, there was no awareness from at least one colleague that it might be relevant. 

#2:  In a later activity, several pictures of a prominent sports figure were projected, displaying different emotions.  The activity was an emotional check-in.  The pictures were of this sports figure with different facial expressions, and we were supposed to put our initials next to the image that best expressed our emotional state.  

Again, let's dig in to some assumptions about the activity: 

• Everyone can read facial expressions and assign meaning to them.
• All participants know who the sports figure is.
• Everyone is comfortable sharing their emotional state.

I was not super happy for a number of reasons when this activity occurred.  But more frustrating to me was that I had no idea who the sports figure was and I didn't really know what the expressions were.  I asked who the person was (because asking about the expressions felt like it would open me up to ridicule, so I chose instead what I thought was a safer route).  The admin quickly responded, telling me the name and sport. No biggie.  

But my colleagues gaped.  "You don't know who X is?" "Do you know who Y is either?"  "How can you not know who X is?" "Are you serious?"  

I was shocked.  Like, really, really shocked.  Hurt, disappointed, sad, angry, and a dozen other negative emotions.

I want to reiterate what I said at the beginning of this post.  I did speak to my administrator. He heard me. We made a plan. I felt heard and seen and respected.  It's ok and I'm ok.  But it is a solid example of embedded assumptions and of not treating each other with respect and kindness.  And of side conversations getting out of control.   

Imagine if I was a kid in a class where that happened.  Maybe I'm 12 and growing in all kinds of new places.  Maybe I am new to the school.  Maybe my family doesn't allow screen use at all.  Maybe I just lost my parent. Maybe I ...there are a million maybes.  But I am sure that in that moment, I have completely lost the trust of that kid.  Note that the person running the activities, the "teacher" (admin, in this case), handled each moment with consideration and kindness.  It was the side talk, the outside conversations that were harmful.  

And please, I am not saying that every kid needs to be coddled and treated like a precious snowflake.  I believe deeply in the gift of failure, the power of hearing no, and the growth that those bring.   

But friends, they see a lot more of the real world than we think.  And they are still kids.  

I can not control what happens to them outside of my classroom.  I can commit to making my classroom as safe as possible.  Especially in 2019.  

What can I take away from these situations as a teacher? (Hopefully they will apply to you too.) 

For me,  it is to critically examine the actual things I do in the classroom and constantly ask myself what assumptions I am making.  Yes, it is exhausting.  I am going to do it anyway.

It is also to take a moment before reacting- to questions, to comments, to actions.  But especially to questions.  If I want to give an eye roll or a smirk, I need to check that right at the door. Because it is legitimate to someone.  

I need to keep focusing on creating a community where those kind of side comments can't happen (through procedures) and don't happen (through community building) and when (not if; I am only human) they do, I own it and address it.

I need to remember to take a cue from my administrator.  He never got defensive.  He owned what happened, apologized sincerely, and together we found a way to repair it.  

Most important, I need to keep asking questions and question other peoples' assumptions.   

I need to remember that it takes courage to ask questions and call attention to unpopular ideas and call people out on their assumptions.  And sometimes I am going to feel bad or unwelcome.  (These weren't even about race. Think about that.)   I need to remember that is who I am- courageous- and find ways to connect with communities that support me and that build me up and help me when I'm down.   

What matters most

Alyssa Campbell, of Seed & Sew, spoke recently in the Summer SOMOS Fun Club episode on Classroom Management about self care.  She talked about it in context of collaborative emotional processing.  Because (this is my take away), you can't take care of your emotions or support other people in their emotions if you don't take care of yourself, and the root of our interactions in classrooms is emotional.  This got me thinking a lot about self care and why I am such a nut about going to bed early on school nights.  It also made me thing about my Lunchtime talk at iFLT 19, which touched on a similar theme.

 Slideshow of lunchtime talk: Obsessed with assessment           

Video of Lunchtime talk (Must be part of the SOMOS Collaboration group on FB to view)

Self Care

What does self care have to do with language acquisition? Well, let me go back to some fundamentals that I believe.

There is only one thing that really matters when it comes to language acquisition.  (And it is *not* assessment, despite what you may think after spending time on this blog!)

There is one thing that creates language in people's heads.

There are, of course, factors affecting how that language is created and how our classes function.

Let's go back to what the Coaching from the Heart model uses to frame teacher's work.  There are two goals in an acquisition driven class:

1. The communication takes place using language that is understood by the students (comprehensible and comprehendED).
2. The class is an environment where students feel safe and want to take risks.

Comprehensible and ComprehendED Language

Trainers talk a lot about how to be comprehensible.  Sarah Breckley just made this incredible video with a lot of specific ideas on how to do it. If you go to a workshop or conference focused on input, you will find a lot of beginner sessions focused on how to speak so your students understand.  (Maybe we need more).

Some strategies for observation,
reflection, and reference by
Martina Bex

Martina and I collaborated earlier this year to make this resource for reflection, reference, and observation. It has all kinds of strategies to link meaning.

Being comprehensible and comprehendED is not easy and it takes a lot of intentional focus, but there are skills that can be taught and practiced.   Here is a great blog post from Martina about being comprehensible.


And of course, we can speak all day long and think that we are being comprehensible, but we also have to make sure that students understand what we say. We do this with constant formative assessment.  For many, this is asking a ton of questions, looking in their eyes, doing comprehension checks, and more.  


Then there is the work of making every student feel safe and willing to take language risks.  For me, this is hard work.  I have to create a community where students feel secure, one that is predictable as well as emotionally and physically safe.  

And I teach middle school, which means I have to work really, really hard to keep them interested in what I have to say. (That is why TPRS is my go-to!) While there is not really any evidence that the input needs to be compelling for language acquisition to occur, there is a lot of evidence that middle school students better be interested in what is going on or the whole class will fall apart.

Me, after a day of teaching
But it does get easier!  

All that is exhausting. Like, really, really exhausting.

One thing that I observed when I first started teaching with TPRS and focusing on input was my own level of exhaustion shot up.  A lot.  I was drained- so fully that I felt empty at the end of the day.  This exhaustion came from watching the kids, interacting with them, and monitoring every single pair of eyes (and body language) for a full hour (per class) all day, and making minute adjustments constantly to make sure each and every kiddo was comprehending and felt safe. It was exhausting. It still is. Every. Single. Day. (It does get easier, friends.  It really does.)

 This is what it sounds like in my head while I am teaching:

Amber looked sad when she came in today I wonder if she slept at her mom's or not. Better give her a smile and oh wait Jamil is starting to turn to Hamish so I am going to walk over to them right now before he even opens his mouth, but now Brian looks like he is going to fall asleep so I better check that he is following along and I wonder if Hailey is taking notes like we agreed or if she is writing a note about what happened at lunch and I don't think that everyone understands hacer SUP so I better comp check that and maybe I should put up that cute picture of Juniper on the paddleboard but I don't know where my phone is and I bet Joe wants to tell the whole class what he told me earlier so how can I give him a yes/no question that he can answer and understand?  

AND AT THE SAME TIME (while pointing or gesturing to words that I am not sure they know) saying:

"Clase, ¿Qué hiciste durante el fin de semana?  Yo pasé tiempo con mi perrita y mi esposo. Fuimos ..what does the mos mean?...we... Fuimos al lago Jordanelle para hacer SUP.  What did we do? We SUPped.  Hicimos SUP.  A Juniper no le gusta hacer SUP pero le gusta pasar tiempo con nosotros. Does Juniper like to SUP?  No.  ¿Qué hicicte tú? ¿Quién fue a las montañas?  Joe, ¿Fuiste a las montañas con tu familia?" 

(Class, what did you do during the weekend?  I spent time with my little dog and my husband. We went...what does the mos at the end of the word mean...we...We went to Jordanelle Lake to SUP. What did we do? We SUPped.  Juniper does not like to SUP but she likes to spend time with us.  Does Juniper like to SUP?  What did you do? Who went to the mountains?  Joe, did you go to the mountains with your family?)  

Yeah. That's HARD.  All that empathy and being open to receiving what the students are broadcasting (emotionally) while at the same time trying to herd the middle school cats AND speak in another language and make sure they understand... It is hard.

That is why self-care is so important to me.  

I can't control what happens to those kids outside my classroom, outside of the few hours a week that they are in my class. I can't keep them safe, I can't feed them, and I can't make puberty any easier.

But what I can control is what happens in my classroom: how much input they get and how fun things are.  (Which includes how safe, how interesting, and how comprehensible.)

And the only way I can possibly have the energy to create the classroom environment that I want to have is to care for myself.

So, I choose (my) life.

I choose input over pointless assessments, over grading everything, over activities that do not help students acquire. (I do what I have to do to keep my job, don't get me wrong. I *do* assess and grade, I just do it in the easiest way possible.)

I choose to spend my time working on getting better at providing compelling input. (Because middle school.)

I choose students over curriculum. (Read more here about some big mindset shifts that I believe in, including this one.)

I choose my passions.  I choose to engage in hard work that is important to dismantle systemic inequalities.

I choose to go outside and do something I am not very good at. (Painting plein aire.)

It feels great.  

I choose my well-being.

I choose my family.  As I said in my iFLT lunchtime talk: I only have a few years on this earth with my father.  I am not going to prioritize grading papers over a trip to visit my folks.

I actively try to simplify my teaching life to what matters most for language acquisition: input and emotional safety (sometimes known as low affective filter). And love.

For me, this means choosing one curriculum and not letting my squirrel brain follow the next great idea down the blogosphere.

It means treating my time as if it was as precious as my money. (It is.)

It means prioritizing things that give me joy (writing, painting, mentoring other teachers, learning more about second language acquisition, teaching a graduate methods class, walking the dog) and help replenish my heart so that I can go in and give my full attention to my kids.  It means advocating for myself and saying no and letting people (admins and friends and my husband) know when I need support.

Don't get me wrong-my husband wonders why I have a second job, and I don't always get to bed on time, and some days I don't get the workout or yoga session that I wanted, and other days I go in and snap at the kids or have no patience.  I am human, and far from perfect.  But I can honestly say that I am in control of my professional life, and I have a personal life too.

Resources

Here are some of my favorite resources about self-care.  In particular, Angela Watson's work, especially her book Fewer things, Better, has inspired me.  (The following links below take you to articles and podcasts by Angela.)

• Your classroom does not have to be Pinterest-worthy
• Stop feeling overwhelmed and overscheduled
• Which aspects of teaching can you let go of?  
• When is it ok to say you have done enough for a student? 

Erica Peplinsky and others (Megan Hayes, Justin Slocum Bailey) have all done some great work (blog posts, presentations) about self care as well.

So, as the year begins, how will you take care of yourself?  What will you choose?

Teacher Goals

One of the things I love the most about being a teacher is the expectation that I am always a learner as well.

I love getting better at things.  I love learning new things.  I love the challenge of figuring out how to do something well, or how to get better at something.  And of course, because I am human, I love that feeling of success. 

I was very lucky to attend a graduate program that required an immense, intense amount of self-reflection.  We were taught how to make self-reflection a habit, part of our lesson planning routines and our lives.  I am sure that I am a better teacher for that habit.

But it is easy to turn self-reflection into criticism, or even self-loathing.  Believe me- watching hundreds of hours of video of myself - to make videos for Comprehensible Online and to post here for others to watch- is really, really hard. But I am a better teacher because of it.  When I watch a video, or even reflect on the day or the lesson, it is very easy to go down the path of seeing only the things I did wrong, the things I could have done better.  It is hard to train myself to find the good.

I think this is a roadblock for teachers- when we take the time to be reflective, it is hard to get out of the habit of criticism, because that is how we are evaluated.  But it is imperative to shift our mindset to look for the positives, if we want to be better teachers through self-reflection.

The Coaching from the Heart model, as used by coaches at Agen, NTPRS,  IFLT, and now all over the country, is a great way to start.  

As coaches, we only look for the positive things that teachers do to make language comprehensible and make the students feel encouraged and safe to take risks.  It is such an amazing feeling to find out what we do well.  In fact, I think it was Angela Watson who suggested taking what you already do well...and getting better at it.  Isn't that a radical idea? 

So here are some of the goals I have set over the past years as a teacher focused on communicative embedded input, aka comprehensible input, and how I measured my success. 

I believe in setting goals that are focused, achievable, and that will have big impacts. 

My big piece of advice: Pick just one resource to teach and one skill or goal to work on.  

Before I share these, I want to say one really important thing.  I see a lot of teachers trying to figure out how to use all the great resources that are available these days -all at the same time.  I get it- there are so many great things out there, but I think that is really hard.

I think it is better to focus on just one resource/curriculum.  That way, there is less worry about what to teach, so you can concentrate on how. 

I use the SOMOS curriculum for the most part.  For the first three years that I taught, I only used SOMOS (and only after the first year, a novel).  Then I started adding in bits and pieces from other curriculum creators- Señor Wooly, resources from SomewhereToShare and Placido Language Resources, and other resources from Martina Bex.  

These goals are written as SMART goals.

Year 1* goals: survival.  

I was just trying to figure out which way was up- new school, new level, new job, new career, etc.

Year 2: SLOW

Why: After being a student at NTPRS in a few demo classes and during coaching, I realized that the easiest, most impactful change I could make was to go slow.   I even made a huge poster of my cats being super lazy with the word "slowly" on the bottom and hung it where I could see it while I was teaching.  

Specific: My goal was to go slow- specifically, to speak slowly, with pausing and pointing to slow me down. 

Measurable: I filmed myself in 15 minute segments and watched how many times I pointed to the L1 meaning, and did my best to measure my rate of speech. I also did a lot of self-reflection, and my supervisor agreed to observe me for just this one thing. 

Attainable: Getting better at just one thing is realistic.

Realistic: It was very, very easy to focus on one thing.  It felt manageable.  Since I already knew, more or less, what I was teaching, focusing on just this felt like I could really do it.  

Time based: I actually gave myself the whole year to work on this skill but self-assessed regularly.

Focusing on just this has made the greatest impact on my teaching.  

Year 3: Survival.  

Because some years, that is what you have to do.  This was the year that we doubled the size of our middle school but did not hire any new staff.  I have very few memories of this year, other than crying a lot.  

Year 4: Brain Breaks 

Why: I spent the summer reading about boys, and how boys learn.  (Hmmm...that was the year that instead of having a whole school read, we were given a list and got to choose.  That was some good PD. Hint hint, admins!)  I read Boys Adrift by Dr. Leonard Sax,  and two other books about gender differences and education, and then I also spent some quality time with Annabelle Williamson, who is, of course, the Queen of brain breaks.  I decided that one very tangible thing I could do to make my classroom more boy-brain friendly was to do more brain breaks.

Specific: just brain breaks (not rethinking everything!) and managing them. My goal was to incorporate 4-6 brain breaks an hour, or more. 

Measurable: I measured by self-reflection, counting the number of breaks that I took in certain class periods, watching video of my teaching, and having my administrator observe me.  

Attainable: I felt like I had enough of a handle on my classroom, being comprehensible, school culture, etc. to be able to focus my energy on this.  

Realistic: I felt like it was reasonable to try this.  I thought it through and made a plan. (My plan was basically to teach the "get quiet and go back to your seats" procedure first, and to keep a running list in front of me with favorite brain breaks and USE them.) 

Time based: I gave myself the entire school year to figure this out.  Having that much time helped me feel like I could try, fail, reflect, and try again.  

Result: Brain breaks are such a huge part of my practice now that I can't even do a presentation with adults without doing brain breaks.  

Download my expectations here.

Year 5: Consistency in responses to disruptions 

 This last year, my goal was to consistently use the classroom management system in A Natural Approach to the Year, also referred to as ANNATY, to maintain consistency and better manage my responses to behaviors.  A key to this plan is to stay positive, so I added a sub-goal of being relentlessly positive the whole time.   

Why: the previous year was a real bear in terms of classroom management- just a handful of kids, but they really worked me.  It is the only time I have told my admin that I never wanted a kid back in my class.  I felt like the plan outlined in ANNATY fit well with my philosophy about management as well as my teaching style,  and provided really clear, easy to follow steps that could be practiced and implemented with consistency. 

Specific: I was going to use the A,B,C, D levels of responses to disruptions with positivity. I wrote them out for myself and posted a mini-version next to my computer, so I could see it at any point. 

Measurable: This was a little harder to measure, but I filmed myself and did a lot of self-reflection. And as far as measuring the positivity, it really came down to how I felt at the end of the class.   

Realistic: Because I believed that this was going to be a good plan for me and my teaching style, it felt very realistic. And again, it was ONE thing.  

Time-based: I had a check-in with myself at each mid-term and term end (6x). But again, I did it for a whole year.

Gaining consistency and maintaining the attitude of Relentless Positivity, (credited to master teacher Paul Kirshling but I first heard it from Annabelle) made another huge difference. I had the best year of my career.  It wasn't because I had great kids (I didn't, ask all the other teachers!) nor was it because it was easy year (Oh, it really, really wasn't).  I think it is because I was both consistent and positive.

Year 6: Responding to Anxious students 

Big goal: I would like to better support high-anxiety, anxious students in my classroom.   

Why: Let me be perfectly honest: I have little patience for these students.  They are the ones that get under my skin and that I have to work very hard to not just dismiss them. And I know that I can do a lot better at meeting them where they are at and helping them develop a sense of efficacy and agency.  It is a real area of growth for me because I just don't understand why they can't ....anyway, I know I need to work on this. I teach an honors class and I have a LOT of these students. They drive me crazy and I KNOW that I am not always meeting their needs.  

Specific: I want to recognize my own lack of patience and respond in a way that will support these students- with kindness and understanding, not impatience and frustration.  My plan is to identify when I start feeling frustrated and impatient, and take a deep breath, then think before responding.  And when I respond, I want to respond with love.  

Measurable: I plan on asking my admin for some ideas on how to measure this.  I know that I can train myself to respond better, but I would like some feedback.

Time Sensitive: I want to give myself a full year for this.  

What are your goals for the upcoming year?  

Do you need some ideas?  Here is a blog post I wrote about CI overwhelm, and also about goals- but at the bottom, there is a graphic organizer that might help categorize what you want to work on, and a little bit more about why I believe picking ONE THING is more powerful than many things. Please feel free to take a look.

*This was actually my fourth year teaching, but it was my first year really committing to input based teaching.